Second Guessing
Full disclosure: I have been second guessing this entire series on Esther. What is usually a rock-solid lineup on my sermon board has been shuffled, erased, rewritten, condensed, and written again.
I’m trying to figure out why.
This morning as I ran mindlessly through the usual habits of getting ready for the day I had a moment of clarity: I am second guessing because I was not fully prepared to dive this deep into a story that is usually summed up in literally ONE verse (4:14).
There is a nuance to Esther’s story that I have chosen to avoid and ignore for a long time –
“I am not prepared for this.”
Think about what Esther is called to do: put her life on the line, make a request of the most powerful man on earth at the time that calls into question the man he put as second in charge who has also been known to make everlasting laws and decrees based on a whim or a shiny thing that passes in front of his eyes.
No amount of public speaking can train you for that presentation.
No amount of confidence building speeches from your cousin can prepare you for that.
Even a year in the King’s harem and specialized treatment did little to prepare Esther for being a Queen. All she was prepped for was one night of interaction with the king.
She was the most underprepared royal figurehead that I can think of. Plucked from the street, given beauty treatments, then thrust into the limelight as Queen. THEN there’s the whole Haman and the annihilation of the Jews thing that gets placed firmly in her lap.
I mean, we recall what happened to the last queen who expressed her opinions to Xerxes (hint: she was deported and the entire nation was told about it, then she was made an example of for how wives should bow to the whim of their husbands in a royal decree).
Nothing prepared Esther for what she was called to do.
But she did it anyway. Reluctantly, yes, but she did it anyway.
For modern Christians we can get comfortable in all the things we’re not prepared to do. There are a wide scope of things that we can push to the side because we’re not ready, not equipped, not trained enough…
When we make an excuse to not share the Gospel with someone because we’re not good enough, not equipped enough, not prepared to share… we are telling God HE Is not good enough, not equipping enough, and lacks vision to prepare His children for the job they were created for.
Do you want to tell Him that?
“God, I’m sorry… I just do not have the tools to speak your name to my neighbor.”
“I’m just not prepared for this…”
Church – God is not just ready to use the reluctant, He has already equipped the reluctant, the unwilling, and those in denial with everything we need.
Peter, who is the textbook unprepared student writes this later in his life about what God offers us: 2 Peter 1: 3 – 7 By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.
In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.
We are equipped and prepared. It’s time to take that step forward and do all the things God has placed in front of us for just such a time as this.